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Seven Levels of God Reserve

flame

by Lorraine Michaels

November 5, 2006

Prayer to God Reserve

I AM THAT I AM Being
I AM Being
I AM THAT I AM a flame of God
I AM THAT I AM willing peace on Earth.
I AM THAT I AM Peace on Earth and Being my God flame.

I will to Be More.
I will to Be I AM.
I understand More.
I will to Be More.

I can understand.
I can.
In my understanding
I can more understand all that I need to know.
I will to Be More.

In my understanding
I know I AM Being.
I ask that my will be God’s Will forever More.

There can manifest life.
Life for I AM.
And in that life I know I AM.
I give life all my Being.
I return to life all I AM
and therefore I manifest More.

The flame I AM is More.
More I AM ISIS.

This prayer was given to me by our beloved Father Morya while traveling through Germany. A simple prayer and yet a very beautiful reminder to connect us with who we are in more and I AM and God Reserve. It is a figure eight flow between receiving more and becoming more; in Being I AM and giving back to life all that I AM.

This is the relationship we can have on earth, a beautiful synchronistic dance between that which gives us life and our gratitude for that life. Through this love of Father God for us and our love for Father God in return, flows the power of Reserve to give us every need.

The joy of this relationship with Father God is beyond words. So I will not try to express it in words. I will simply give to you the steps to Reserve so you may experience that oneness and joy for yourselves. It is all about Being right and more. There are seven levels to this “right” and “more”. And as you rise through each level you are taken into the greater oneness with God Reserve and greater love for what is right in God.

Creating Independence from God Reserve
Although it is good not to be co-dependent on anyone, my example of my youth took that independence to the extreme. We are taught in Christian Sunday school and from other sources, that God loves us and sent his only begotten Son to atone for our sins and sinful nature. We learn that God is up there somewhere far from us and that we have to take care of ourselves and "work by the sweat of our brow" for our needs. So my youth is not too far off from what other Christian believers were brought up to believe or other religious movements.

You are taught you are a sinner and you have to take care of yourself. Although we are also taught in "The Lord's Prayer" to ask the Lord for our daily bread, there is no bridge between the Old and New Testament. In the Old Testament we are sinners and are cursed and must work for our food and living. In the New Testament we are atoned for our sins by the blood Jesus shed on the cross.

To my young mind, I could not see how God was going to provide my daily bread unless I worked for it. I did not have the faith that the Lord provided my needs because I saw and felt lack. And I also connected to the fact that I was a sinner and somehow deserved this lack. And I did not believe that Jesus' sins atoned for mine since he died before I was born!

So in my youth I learned how to fend for myself. My family was lower middle class. We did not suffer for clothes or food, we had just the bare minimum. I never felt lacking in anything until I got out in the world more after hitting my teen years and saw what others had. And there I saw what I was lacking. I saw that there was more food than one little hamburger each of us children would receive when we ate out. I saw that other teens had loving relationships with their parents. I saw that other children had greater freedoms than I. I saw that many of my peers were more outgoing, dressed better and were smarter than I, being able to do spelling bees and answer oral quizzes quicker. In short I began to feel a sense of lack and need. I felt that somehow I had less than many other people across the board!

Looking at our basic foundation we see we have four basic needs: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Looking at what I was receiving, the only area I felt like I was not lacking was the spiritual. Although my parents didn’t go to church, they dropped my sister and I off to church every Sunday. After church we would walk to my father’s workplace, a boatyard. There he would work on his boat on the weekends. It was a two mile hike, and I generally loved the walk.

So we would go to church which I liked a lot. As I grew older I felt like I knew more than the priests. Not in a prideful way, I just knew I knew more than my church was able to give me. I believed in reincarnation and I knew the beliefs of my religion were not all there was to God. I did not worship Jesus as a God. I belonged to a Christian faith and adored God, not Jesus. Jesus was just part of the package, but I felt that somehow Christians had put him on a pedestal and I could not relate to that. I believed he was God’s special son, but I never thought he was the only one or God incarnate, as least not in the sense that God would only incarnate through Jesus. So I felt like my spiritual side was being nurtured and fulfilled both privately and through church, as on my own I studied esoteric books and built my own inner relationship with God.

But I did begin to see I lacked in all the other bodies. I felt stupid, as if I was endowed with a deficit brain. My parents would ask me something and I would forget what they asked before being able to carry out the request! I felt I looked stupid, as my clothes were hand-me-downs, for the most part, from my older sister. Unfortunately, she was several sizes larger than I! I felt emotionally deprived. My family was non-communicative. They did not share love, conversations or physical touch with hugs and kisses. In short, I felt like a misfit, not fit for society or to fit in with the world.

But I desired one thing and that was freedom. I wanted to do what I wanted and be what I wanted. And my family did not encourage freedom. My father was indifferent and my mother was controlling. So I quickly started going out and getting jobs and working my way to freedom. By fifteen I was working as much as the law would allow for that age. I moved out at eighteen, having graduated early from school and started working a full-time job.

I learned to depend on myself. I did not ask my parents for anything. I just intuitively knew they couldn’t provide what I needed. So I would just go and get what I wanted as best as I could. I did not see that God the Father could provide my needs physically. I did think he could fulfill my spiritual needs and I did pray for help to control my emotional and mental bodies. So I reinforced constantly the independence from anyone. Everything I needed I would get myself through hard work and determination.

I married young and a few years later I had my first child. Within a few short years I had two more children. And I quickly learned in my marriage that I still had to depend on myself. After my first child was born, I went out and worked while my husband stayed home and took care of the baby. At that time I could make more money than him and we mutually agreed to this arrangement.

Physically we were doing well. We waited three years to have children and we both worked and saved money. We also spent money on whatever we wanted. We bought property and started to build a home, which we later sold for a 100% profit. I was becoming more self-sufficient as the years went on. And after marrying I dropped out of my church and could not find one that fit my spiritual beliefs, so I did not go at all. The spiritual side of my life was waning, while the physical needs were doing better, along with the emotional and mental. I was becoming more independent of God. Every day I was reinforcing my ability, or so I thought, to be independent of anyone and able to get all I needed.

Finding Saint Germain
As the course of life can go sometimes, I had an inner drive to find something. I knew it had to do with the mysteries of life and I felt like it would come in due time. And so it happened. When I was about twenty-six I saw the "Unsolved Mysteries" show on the “Wonderman of Europe”, the story of "Le Comte de Saint Germain". And at that moment my life made a completely new turn. I had found my spiritual truth in the physical. I knew I must find this Saint Germain and in this story there was mention that there was this church he was connected with. But what was the church?

Fortunately, I only had to wait but a few months before the church came to me in the form of my new neighbors. They moved in across the street from me and we helped them move in. The next day I was over their house when I heard this tape with Saint Germain giving a dictation through Elizabeth Prophet and I asked who that was. When I heard it was Saint Germain my heart jumped for joy and I immediately joined Saint Germain’s Keeper of the Flame fraternity when they told me about the church and his organization.

I joined the local chapter where they did decrees and services together and loved every moment of my new life in the Spirit. My husband unfortunately, did not take to it whatsoever. But he was tolerant, hoping it was just a fad and I would peter out with my enthusiasm and drive to participate in every service each week.

After my third son was born, we decided to move closer to our families, about three hours away. As fate would have it, although I moved away from my spiritual connections in northern Florida and had none nearby in our new home and town that would take away time and attention from my husband, our marriage began to deteriorate. I found a spiritual group many miles from my home and would gather a group together and we would take together the hour drive to services. My husband saw that I was not waning on my enthusiasm and he was growing tired of my newfound interests. He also was becoming more dependent on his parents, who both seem to detest me. The combination was driving wedges between us that we both did not have the strength to overcome.

There is one chapter in the New Testament, in Matthew 6, that gives us each step of God Reserve. The first four verses describe exactly what I found I experienced in this breakdown of my marriage once choosing to come out of the non-will, non-Being as illustrated below.

It says:

"Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

Therefore when thou doest [thine] alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth: That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites [are]: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward." Mat 6:1-5

I had to learn to pray in secret so as not to offend my family members. And so I would go into my closet and shut the door. And sometimes it was a physical place apart from others, and sometimes it was just in my heart where I could pray in silence and no one would hear. And when my prayers were answered, I did not need to shout my victories to the world, I simply hid them in my heart, rejoicing for each one.

These verses show us the need to withdraw from the ways of the world where we start to trust the God Reserve to answer our prayers and fulfill our needs. Where only in the secret chamber of our hearts we may begin to feel the fires start to burn as we return to balancing and expanding the threefold flame within. And where we begin to replace self-aggrandizement with the right love of wanting God's love more than the love of the world.

Will to become right love - First Level
I had moved into the stage of the "Will to Become right love" and I had to leave behind that which was restricting my free will choice. We divorced within four years, but not without much resistance on my part. I did not want to let go of my family and marriage so I could keep my religious beliefs. I tried many times and left many times, hoping the separation would help. But I could not change his free will choice, I could only "be" willing to come into right love and not let my karma and present life hold me back.

My example of these beginning years of my life is nothing extraordinary from many other sons and daughters of God. I felt close and connected to God. I felt alienated from my family, peers and even from many people in the world. I married and started a family. I worked for a living and learned to depend on myself. And some people can go all their lives and not have much else happen unusual in their lives. They marry, have children, get jobs and lose jobs. They divorce, sell their homes, have financial windfalls or financial disasters. They lose loved ones and find new loves and new jobs. One day they retire and life draws to an end, if they don't first get a terminal disease, heart attack or injury and die young. This type of existence has life bringing you challenges because you are not going after the challenges yourself.

I was determined that I was not going to have a blasé air to life. I knew there was more to life and when I found Saint Germain and the Ascended Masters’ Teaching, I was moving into doing something with my life.

This is the first level of God Reserve called “Will to become right love”. The wanting something more and the willing to change and move away from this total independence to a more loving relationship with God based on love and right—wanting to serve life and not just take.

levels reserve

Above is an illustration of the Seven Levels of Reserve.

Reserve is a word that I was given to describe the source of all that we receive from God. We here below become the recipients or reserved to Reserve.

The sacred fire is said to be the coiled serpent energy at the base of our spine called the Kundalini. The aspect of the sacred fire Above is said to be God, Life, Light, energy of the I AM THAT I AM. It is also said to be the Holy Spirit. The sacred fire is not Reserve, because Reserve is more. Reserve is the One Source and More. Out of the One came everything. But the One is always More.

This One that is More is what is called God Reserve. Therefore, all Light, Love, energy, Will, Being, all Light emanations of God - everything - comes from God Reserve. The sacred fire becomes the carrier of this Reserve into our Being.

If you look at above illustration you see that the "will to become right love" is at the soul level and just above the line representing the fall. Below the line is non-will, non-Being. In order to start the rise above the fallen consciousness of duality and conditional love, the soul must will to do so.

Love is giving and heretofore, I was giving to get, as we are often taught in this world. I worked and in exchange I received supply. I wanted love, I knew I had to give it or give something someone wanted to receive love in return. My soul let me know that my first husband was the man I was to marry and so I gave to him what he wanted over the years I was with him. I gave to him so I could receive his love in return. And when I found the Teachings I learned that if I didn’t give him what he wanted he would withhold the love. I was learning about conditional love. And I had a desire to rise above this condition. I wanted right love and I was learning how to give right love in service to the Brotherhood in decrees and services to help the planetary body and the cause of the Brotherhood. I had the will to become right love.

The Bible speaks in the Old Testament that we must henceforth "work by the sweat of our brow" for the sins that were committed as man chose the duality consciousness and tasted of the fruits of good and evil—right and wrong.

"In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return." (Gen. 3:19)

Prior to this state, when in the Edenic state, man could "Be" right in everything he did. And thus all his needs were provided. Now he was cursed by his sin, which is the choice to be outside of right and in "wrong". He must provide for his food by working the ground and eating of the herbs.

"Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field." (Gen. 3:17-18)

When we desire to leave behind the sin consciousness and return to "right" we must go through the trial of the Dark Night of the Soul. It is at this level of Reserve that you will go through this Dark Night when you reach a certain level of karma balanced and you have made that decision to "become right love" once again through your own free will choice.

When your will comes to this critical level of balancing your karma and the desire to be right in love, you enter the stage called the Dark Night of the Soul. As your soul travails in the dark night, she must desire this "right love" more than the old. It is a surrender of this anti-will and she feels alone, neither belonging in the old world or the new because past momentums are still with her, pushing her to continue sin and the sin consciousness.

Whereas the path of Christhood seemed joyful and you were exuberant, you now find your prayers don't seem to be answered. Terrible things are happening to you. Sickness, financial disaster, divorce, losses, all are or can be a part of this Dark Night. What sees you through is your will firmly holding on to that glimpse of light that heralds the dawn of your new beginning in God Reserve, Being and Right Love.

Being right love - Third Level
During the breakdown of my marriage and then the divorce, I did not have to give up my spiritual beliefs, although I was pushed and pulled to let them go. But in the end I was finally free to participate and give to God and my spiritual life as much as my heart desired. I was through the Dark Night and into the Light once again.

And so I opened my home to services and study groups and lived a happy time for several years following. I was free for the first time in my life and I was very happy. I had moved away from "being" controlled to allowing God to take control, by my free will choice to "be"come right in love.

I had not realized how much I had allowed my husband to control me and my being myself. I had gone from the control of my mother right into the control of my husband and his mother. And so after the divorce I felt like a weight and lid was lifted off me and I was free to Be. It was accelerating and I could not keep a smile off my face for weeks afterward. My relationship with God continued to improve every day. And I learned about my Higher Self and developed that inner relationship and learning a healthy love for my self.

Once moving through the “will to become right love” there are several options of what level of God Reserve you may work on next. Above the line we have three more levels that you learn as you progress through balancing your four lower bodies and threefold flame. For me it was developing my love with the Father in the level “Being right love”. For some it might be moving into the Mother with “nurturing right love”. For others it might be the “right love” of the son.

flame The four “right loves” lead to oneness with your Higher Self and bring balance in the threefold flame. For each person the process of how to balance their threefold flames and what aspect of the Father-Mother God relationship they are working on, will be unique and different.

My relationship with my physical mother was not good. And so I immediately was drawn to loving the Father and wanting to work on drawing closer to God as Father. That was where I was comfortable. So I wanted to “be right” with the Father. I wanted to make things right with my love for Father which I felt came through Saint Germain, El Morya and the Great Divine Director. They were my spiritual fathers and I adored them. I would do anything for them and as I got to know them, I knew they would help me as well.

Miracles started happening in my life. So many that it was not hard to start letting go of that total independence I had and realize that God the Father did provide my needs. Saint Germain came through many times to manifest miracles that I knew he did for me when I called to him and his miracle pouch. But I had a long way to go to rely totally on God Reserve. This is just one step on the way.

I managed to earn a living by creating my own business, which allowed me to work as hard or as little as I needed to, to pay my bills. I created jobs for myself that paid decent earnings when I needed more for extra expenses. And I learned that maybe God the Father was helping me find these extra means just when I needed the money. But I felt like I still had to do all the work in the physical to earn my living. But I was learning to trust that the miracles were happening in my life because I prayed and God heard my prayers. Here are the next verses in Matthew that relate to building that relationship with Father Reserve and asking for his help.

"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him." (Mat 6:6-8)

In this level of Reserve we may make it right with our Father. We pray in secret to him. I learned how to pray in my church where outside people were afraid of what we did behind closed doors. My mother became concerned and began looking through my things to discover what was this secret prayer and church activities. But I just kept praying in this form of dynamic prayer which the church called decrees. My heart sang when I decreed and I took to them like a fish takes to water. I felt like I had been doing decrees forever, when I had never done anything like them in this life.

"But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions" was generally not a problem to me, but something that needed to be watched. It was too easy to decree and pray in rote. We sometimes were asked to give hundreds of repetitions of certain decrees, and if you were not careful, you could get distracted and just give these repetitions for hours on end without engaging your heart. But again, my spiritual experiences kept the joy and love for this spiritual work. I began to feel my heart flame when I sang and did decrees, something I had never felt before. At times I could feel my body expand as my consciousness began to expand out of the body. This is our growing awareness of "Being right love" with Father.

Then you start to feel the return of knowing God hears your prayers because you heart is engaged in love and you begin to realize "your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him".

Right Love - Second Level
I quickly processed through the "Being Right Love" with Father and felt myself being drawn more to my I AM Presence and beginning to feel he was a real part of my loving self. I was growing close to my Christ self as my greatest friend and ally.

In "right love" we are working on Being that Christ love. If you look at the illustration above you notice that on the left side of 'Son' there is a blank. Whereas all the other levels has a word before "right". That is because when man fell, they left off wisdom and sank into the lie and the duality consciousness that created the false mind of the carnal mind and ego. What has to happen in this level of Reserve is the self-annihilation of this anti-christ within. So rather than becoming something, Being or nurturing, it is a letting go, a dying of that false self. This process continues as long as it takes, while simultaneously you may be working on the level of Father or Mother Reserve.

I remember one morning I awoke with a spiritual experience given to me by my Higher Self. This marked the beginning of my working on "right love". I remembered a beautiful experience of being with someone that loved me very much. We were across from each other and I was loving this Being and this Being was loving me back. The love I felt was intense and pure, a beautiful feeling, but far beyond any love I ever felt on earth. I found myself engulfed by this flow of love between us. And then I realized with that instant knowing that this Being I was loving was myself! That this was my I AM Presence. It was an incredible experience and awakening for me. I was love! My true Being was love. And I realized that my Being loved me. And I felt myself drawn into wanting this love more than anything else. I wanted to make this relationship with myself right.

And so I learned to love myself and break down those walls of lies I created around my heart. I devoted my time to do many rituals for healing my heart and what I later learned was unloving hardness of heart. I realized I could love my I AM Presence, but I could not love me. I did not see that me was I AM. I couldn’t reconcile the two. One was perfect and I knew I wasn’t. So therefore they couldn’t be the same. I did heart meditation rituals with Saint Germain, the Chohan of Love, to burn up that hardness of heart. And I felt the burning in my chest each session. I eventually realized that I couldn’t love anyone because the hardness of heart was keeping me from loving anyone, including myself.

So it took me many years, far longer than I care to tell in trying to break through these blocks to loving right. Loving Father and “Being right love” was easy compared to this. And I still hadn’t got to “nurturing right love”. That would come when I met Kim. I don’t know the hour and day when I finally came through to “right love”. There were times when I felt like I would never break through.

The other aspect of this right love at the level of the Son relates to the next verses of Matthew.

After this manner therefore pray ye:

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Mat 6:9-15)

Much like the Miracle Freedom Rosaries Mother Mary has given us today, this prayer is affirming that which is right in love "thy kingdom come" and "thy will be done". And then going into the karmic debt and consciousness that needs to be challenged and destroyed: non-forgiveness, the propensity to succumb to temptation and do evil.

This process of destroying that which is unreal continues for as long as it takes to replace temptation with love.

Nurturing Right Love - Fourth Level
Before I won my victory there in "right love", I was led to finally face “nurturing right love”. As I mentioned, my relationship with mother was strained in my early years and got better as I was away and raising my own family. But one day it made a turn for the worse long after I had left home.

In my youth I felt the relationship with my mother was very controlling and restrictive. I felt I was more in the way or troublesome. Anger was a common thing and I learned as a child to monitor her moods so I could avoid being around her when she might get angry.

As I grew up, she became more controlling and I cherished my freedom very much. Working outside the home was one way to give me that freedom. Money led to my own purchases and eventually to my first car. A car led to further freedom and the eventual move out of my parent’s home just after I turned eighteen.

I knew other mothers could be loving, kind, generous and open. Mine wasn’t. The more I saw other mothers the more I saw how strange mine was. She never went out and shopped, buying all her purchases through catalogs. My father did the grocery shopping and thus I never went shopping with my mother! Nor did we go out to dinner or the movie theater, except on occasion to a drive-in movie theater and a stop to the fast food restaurant of that day: Royal Castle. Royal Castle hamburgers were a tiny little burger, not at all like the fast food hamburgers of today. We children would get one little burger for dinner and that was all. We were far from any relatives and led an exclusive life. We didn’t have guests for dinner and we were never invited out except on a few rare occasions that I remember.

So I never saw the nurturing part of mother too much. I started cooking when I was ten and did a lot of the cooking from then on. My mother really didn't know how to cook and she wouldn’t use butter or milk and thereby there were many dishes we could not have because she wouldn’t eat these products. So I would cook these things just for the pure joy of having something delicious to eat and for the satisfaction of creating something new.

We were bottle fed as babies and I knew my mother use to prop up the bottles against a pillow so she wouldn’t have to hold the babies in her arms and feed them all the time. Part of this was the culture of the time. Mother's were encouraged to give their babies formula as companies promoted their products as better than mother's milk! This also gave mothers the freedom to give their babies to childcare centers so they could go out and work. So there was a general cultural change in America from mother nurturing.

So nurturing and mothers was something I was not use to. I tried to nurture my children and give them a good beginning in their lives. I gave birth naturally and at home to avoid medical intervention in the hospital. I nursed the babies as long as I could to give them mother’s milk as the best source of food. I avoided sugars and harmful foods in their diets and protected them from violent shows and dangerous situations. What I didn’t know how to do I would read up on and study. I was use to figuring things out, so what I determined to do I would do with help from self-studies.

But I could not give my children what I did not know I lacked. But I did the best I could with what I knew at the time, and did try to nurture them and love them. And maybe my mother tried as well, doing the best for what she knew how. But what we do not receive and learn, we often don't know how to do ourselves.

So by working on my nurturing my children, I was learning this “nurturing right love”. But only in the giving. I did not know how to receive nurturing. I could take care of my physical needs and I was very careful with my diet and health and knew how to nurture myself that way. But I did not know how to love myself in the nurturing that only the mother side of life can give. It is the love you pour into food when you cook, the hugging of a child when she falls and bruises her knees. It is that which goes beyond words that is just being love in so many ways that provides that sense of being coddled in the arms and hugged into the softest, warmest embrace that makes you feel safe and fulfilled.

When I married Kim I learned this love. He was always there with hugs, comforting words, apologies and always that sense that I was loved no matter what I did. I had never felt this nurturing love from anyone in my life prior to Kim. And one day I realized, no matter what I did, his love for me did not change. In other words, it did not fluctuate by my behavior. It was constant and pure. And when I was sick, he was there with comforting words and support. When I needed an ear to bend, he was there to listen. And it was not until years later that I realized he was a tremendous boon to my healing process with nurturing love. I had no idea I had a problem and no idea it was being healed until it was well over. And I only could look back on those early years together with tears in my eyes that this man’s love was so strong and pure to heal this schism in my being. Gratitude could not help but overflow from my heart to experience the unconditional love of Mother through another human being.

My physical mother would not talk to me because I left Florida and moved to Montana where I met Kim. She disagreed with my leaving my children behind temporarily and let me know in no uncertain terms that she did not approve. I was hurt terribly at that time. I had never experienced such blatant abandonment for what I knew was the right thing to do because I was divinely directed to do it. And I had never faced the fact so clearly that her love for me was conditional.

We never breached that experience. Band aides covered those wounds for years. We talked and continued a relationship on occasion. And one day I finally broke off the relationship entirely, knowing that neither one of us was growing as we continued in our facade. If I could not Be around her, I would not be around her. And if conflict would occur when I was Being then I had to be the one to make choices about our relationship from a place of love and wisdom. When I tried to open up the relationship again years later, she would not cooperate and I realized I just had to surrender trying and move on.

I had opened up my heart to accept Mother Mary as my Cosmic Mother. I let go of a need of a physical mother. Although our Cosmic parents are not in the physical, it is amazing how much they can convey in that love and support from the other side. Sometimes I feel there is no veil between my Cosmic Father and Mother. I don’t see them with my physical eyes, but my other senses are quite aware of their Presence within me and around me.

The next verses of Matthew that relate to "nurturing right love" are these:

Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly. (Mat 6:16-18)

While I was working on the "nurturing right love" I fasted a lot. One year I did a 36 hour fast every other weekend for the entire year. Why is fasting nurturing? You might think that fasting is denying nurturing in the form of food. But nurturing at its lowest level is related to food.

There is the nurturing of the spirit and the will. And these fasts taught me self-control and allowed me to connect with Spirit in ways you cannot imagine. My will was so strengthened and so nurtured those years of regular fasting. Very few knew I was doing this, as I would do it the weekend my children would visit their father. The only people who knew were those I worked for on those days, if they would offer me lunch.

And my reward was great. I eventually could do five day fasts and then longer, each becoming a test to overcome temptations and to eventually be able to give up harmful foods all together. Thereby my body received the ultimate nurturing of the purging of overeating and harmful diets and the eventual ability to nurture it properly and thereby maintain a strong, healthy temple to house the Spirit of God.

Being More Right - The Fifth Level
The four lower rights in love develop yourself as the “reserved” below to the “Reserve” Above. When you are healed in love through the Father, Mother and Son, you are ready for learning the higher rights of more love. You have already built a strong relationship with trust, support and love from your Cosmic Father-Mother God representatives. You have witnessed their intercession in your everyday life. You have learned that when you pray, you receive answers. When you need help, all you need do is pray to your Cosmic parents and they will give you help by sending you to someone or someone to you. Or they will lead you to make better choices that will lead you to the answer to your prayers. You have learned that nurturing gives you strength and the ability to Be more.

You are ready to surrender your Christ self now and move into oneness with your I AM the Presence. You are ready to let go of all worldly attachments and move into the wanting the Spirit more than anything physical. You are ready to enter the inner chamber of your Being and start the secret ray initiations. And the way to those begin with “Being More Right”.

If you look at the illustration above you see that these levels of reserve are shown in the upper half of the Being of You in God consciousness. You have moved through right loving in the four lower levels/four lower bodies through many physical tests. And through the right use of your threefold flame in love, wisdom and power you may eventually manifest your Christhood.

Whereas you learn the lower "right loves" in the physical, the upper half is done within your Being. You are still in the physical experiencing these rights, but they are Spirit. The objective is to bring these rights into the physical through your Being one with them.

It is now that you must go through the process of the Dark Night of the Spirit. You must prove to God that you want to “Be more right” than you want to possess anything in this world, be it people or possessions or wanting to be accepted by others or receive their approval. In order to see you through this Dark Night, you must be willing to Be, but "Be right" more than anything else. And that right is within you. You know what is right and you will feel like the very thing you want the most—your relationship with God—is where you have been the most wrong. So you have to surrender everything — even your relationship you have with God.

You have to be willing to give it all to God and allow him to give you back what is real and right. You have to surrender control of your life and have that total faith that God is in control of yours. And you have to wait, not wavering in wanting anything back until he deems you are ready. If you seek to get anything back or get impatient, you will not receive back that which is real. And you will not have let go of control.

This Dark Night can take as long or as short as you need to finally surrender every drop of control and desire to be anything but “Being more right”. And then one day, you will find there is God speaking to you in your heart having taken total control of your Being because your will has totally merged with His Will.

The next verses of Matthew that relate to fifth level into Spirit are:

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. (Mat 6:19-22)

We know that laying up our treasures in heaven is that which we do right that is stored in our Causal Bodies. But what we are seeing here is that prior to this level of Reserve, our works were not right loving. They were imperfections and the trying to Be right. But until we come into Being, where everything is right, we have no treasures to store because that which is not right is not truth and holds no reality (permanence) in God.

The next verse gives us the key to Being. When "thine eye be single", when we have entirely left off of duality, we no longer have any wrong, which in duality is the opposite of right, we have only the single one right of God. We have entered Spirit and Being and hereby learn the "more" Being. There we find El Morya as the representative of more and I AM THAT I AM. He teaches us that we can move swiftly through this "Being more right" by seeing ourselves as his twin and twin to I AM THAT I AM.

Being Right - Sixth Level
The levels here become more subtle. Remember this is an inner experience. No one knows what you are experiencing because it is not shown by any outer thing. You cannot tell anyone why you know something is right to do. You only know for you, this is right. That is this “Being right”. From this level of Reserve, your greatest desire is to Be. But you don’t just want to Be anything, you want to Be You. And You is God.

People will now oppose you. They will judge you and mock you and the enemies of God will come to tempt you, anything to keep you from Being right. No one can control you and many fear those they cannot control. So their desire is to keep you from Being. But your direction comes from within. And you have to learn that although direction can come through any outer person, messenger or Master, that all qualify as outer direction and should never supersede your inner direction.

For me this was a very difficult period because I had swung from being entirely independent through my mid-twenties, to becoming entirely dependent on spiritual direction from the Masters and their messengers. Whereas I never had a problem with what I knew as right to do in life, I had turned to wanting to "Be right", meaning that I follow all spiritual direction from outer sources as knowing more than what I knew inside myself as right. I had let go of Being right and lacked the faith and knowing I once had. I had destroyed my innate inner ability thinking that being a follower and obedient student was the most important thing on the path.

I believe my natal astrology was set up to go through this initiation as my birth rising sign is Taurus. Taurus is the sign of the bull and in Cosmic astrology is represented by the misqualifications of stubbornness and defiance of the law. In my youth I did what I pleased. I was not a rebel and did not smoke, drink or take drugs. I simply defied rules and laws set up for people in order to protect themselves and others. I didn’t follow some of those rules because I was inwardly led that I didn’t need to. This was done in a quiet, non-defiant way. Most people did not know what rules I did or didn’t follow. But when I entered the Teachings and realized I had this astrological sign and saw how defiant I was, I thought I was being disobedient and defiant to God. I saw it as something to eradicate from my Being.

But I did not have the understanding of Being as we do today. I did not know that if one is not totally controlled by their egos, they can be divinely led to follow their inner law over any outer laws. So I left behind that innate good “Being right” and had to go through the long process of rebuilding that which I had destroyed.

So I had the painful experience of having to do all that the Masters told me to do, as they were pushing my "buttons" to help me see this unreality. And I was so obedient that it sometimes brought out instant anger and resentment of me from others. I did so many things like this for so long, hoping that one day the Masters would stop having me do these things that were so uncomfortable to do. And it did abate, but I had to live with all that I had previously said and done as I realized that I was often used to say and do things to break down people’s boxes.

But in peace you must stay, as this "Being right" is one with I AM Buddha. You learn to stay in this Buddhic Peace where you realize that you have a right to "Be" here on earth and "Be" who you are. You have a right to claim this earth for "I AM" and you begin to assert those rights. What heretofore you just accepted as part of living on earth, you realize you don't have to accept. You realize that although others have free will choices as God gave them that right, they do not have the right to use their free will to hurt another. You have a right to to claim your turf, this earth for the "rights" of God, as Buddha sat under the Bo Tree and pronounced "Vajra!" claiming he had a right to sit under that tree and be in peace without the demons of Mara tormenting him.

Dark Night of Being I AM
There is another Dark Night that I wrote about in our journeys in Peru, which I call the Dark Night of Being I AM. It is during this level of Reserve that you may go through this Dark Night. As I experienced it, it is moving from the outer understanding of who you are as I AM, and moving through the total rejection of all that is outer - into the light of Being I AM. An extraordinary experience where you no longer believe something because you are told at some outer level of who you are. You believe because you are and know you are right in I AM Being. You accept who you are as a God flame because you accept who you are as I AM. There is no peace until you come into this acceptance of who you are in I AM.

The Matthew verses for "Being right" are:

"No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon....

Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?" (Mat 6:24-27)

The higher understanding of the "two masters" is anti-peace and peace. If you fight, you find yourself in the battles of duality. If you hold to peace and despise anti-peace, you will be still in duality and the "right-wrong" mentality. The Buddha does not battle. He does not need to fight to keep the peace. He is "Being right". All that is not right either passes through him as he is a clear pane of glass, or it must leave. But he remains in his peace.

In this total peace of the Buddha and "Being right" there is no worry, no concern over the providing the physical needs. The Buddha proved you can even live on prana, with no physical substance. But God is not asking you to. It is your choice to take that path or to continue in the taking in of physical nurturance. God is only asking you to no longer have your focus on any physical needs because you don't need them. If you need energy, it is simply provided for in God Reserve. If you need healing, light, power, strength, nutrients - whatever you need is provided. You are then above the limitations of the physical realm and your entire Being is sustained through "Being right" and one with I AM.

"Which of you can add one cubit unto his stature?" At this level of Reserve there comes the full realization that nothing - absolutely nothing - you can do will change anything. It is the God in you as the One, the only Source of Being that is the doer. Through this realization, you can just let go and "Be right" in I AM.

Desire to Be Reborn Right - Seventh Level
The seventh level of Reserve is the "desire to Be reborn right". Reborn means to be emotionally and spiritually revived or regenerated. But not just any revival or regeneration, but the regeneration in Spirit where you not only know you are the Christ and have a right to Be that Christ, but that you are I AM. And that the right of I AM supersedes any other right on earth.

When Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council and a Pharisee asked Jesus for the truth one night, Jesus declared "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." (John 3:3)

Could Jesus have been speaking of this seventh level of Reserve? When Nicodemus asked him how could one enter the womb again as an adult, Jesus replied, ""I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." (John 3:6-8)

We return to Matthew chapter 6 which ends with these closing remarks:

"Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Mat. 6:30-34)

Again, we hear repeated from earlier, take no thought for the morrow, for your needs, for the Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

Praying to God Reserve for all you need
You discover that when you are in "right", your every need is taken care of. God is you and God in you knows everything you need. If you seek to "Be Reborn" in who you are in God I AM, you are right in that seeking and in God I AM. And when you are Being Right in God, you are in this almost constant figure eight flow of love for God and God loving you. You are knowing you are one with God. And thereby God instantly knows what to give you and how to give it to you.

I am often directed to send a loving thought to God Reserve because God knows I need something. Many times it was just strength I needed. And I would be gently reminded to send that love to God Reserve so that God could send me back all power and energy to fill the void for lack of sleep or overwork.

Other times God just wished to fulfill what he knew would bring me great joy. Knowing my thoughts and desires as his own, God would prompt me to do something in Being. And the results would manifest into lovely surprises of manifestations of some physical thing.

Sometimes it would be a prompting to love God Reserve so that I could tap into the God Consciousness and that Mind of God where every answer is. Then God through me could give that abundant knowledge in whatever way he chooses to his own here below. He waits for those whose minds are open to be chalices to these Cosmic Truths that are just waiting for seeds to germinate so that they can be watered with this nurturing water of Truth.

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his "right"eousness." Jesus was leading us to this right in Spirit, in I AM where we may find the kingdom of God—not as some place outside of ourselves—but within and one with the Source.

When we seek the pleasures of this world first, we forfeit our opportunity to be in that "right" place where God can lead us through these winds of the Spirit. But when we are in this "wind that blows wherever it pleases" we are in the River of Life where all that we need is supplied.

All that we have worked on in the six previous "rights" of love have led us to this one total surrender where we must desire this Right in Spirit more than anything in the physical. We must ask to be reborn in the Spirit. And we already have learned that anything we ask and need, God already knows and will provide us the way. We only need Be in that place of Right. And we need to ask that everything Be Right.

When we come to the realization that God in us is the Right and we are one with God, then what we ask for is God's Will for us and for all his creation. This does not mean that we must take away another's free will, and that they don't have the right to choose, but it does mean that Right supersedes that which is not right. And therefore we can demand in the fullness of Being "I claim the Right to Be" and in that claim stake the claim for Right to manifest wherever we are Being. All else simply must leave if it will not conform to that Right.

"Do you understand my beloved that Right is the free will choice of God Being through you? But you are more than a mere human being, you are God Being in full manifestation when you come from Right. So therefore take this opportunity to observe your willingness to Be Right and to claim that Right through you this day." El Morya

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