August 11, 2009
Dear Community
I would like to share with you some insights in relation to the latest events between Kim and Lorraine as to how I see it.
Up to this point there has been the disciplining of various members of the community to help them move forward on the spiritual path, for example Marian and Leita, and what we know about discipline is that it is a grace, for it is an opportunity to see something important about ourselves, that we cannot see, like shining light on a blind spot.
I wholeheartedly believe that Lorraine Michaels has such a blind spot and that she needs to be disciplined. But who is there to discipline a messenger when she is out of alignment? There is no one, except another messenger, and Lorraine Michaels has put a stop to that one by giving a “dictation” by Padma Sambhava, stating that Kim has lost his mantle as messenger, because of what he did, something I believe is a lie that needs to be exposed and seen for what it is. I will therefore tell you why?
That Lorraine has a somewhat black and white mindset, as Kim stated in his letter, I believe is true, and also that she wants to be “right”, because she has the “highest truth.” Furthermore is this type of personality not always easy to live with, because no matter how many times one knocks on the door to try to insert another perspective, the door does not budge.
We, as a community, were farther away from the scene, but when I attended the recent School of Being class I noticed, that there were constant clashes between Melissa and Lorraine, partly I believe because Melissa knows about this aspect in her mom, and partly because Melissa did not know how to come on with her input in a non-aggressive way. Kim would join our discussions on occasions and he tried to get Lorraine to see that when she gets an insight, it might not be the ultimate truth that everyone needs to act on right away. Rather it might be simply a stepping-stone to a higher truth that we find together by listening to each other. But this did not really penetrate and the muscle testing seemed to be the ultimate proof, something that puzzled me as to how she could take it so literally.
It is therefore understandable how it has not been all easy to live together under the same roof, unless the others submits to the person`s control – something Melissa and Kim would not do. I also understand how there would come an almost inevitable point in one´s life together, where one would need to say something like; “I love you. God bless you. I have tried, again and again. Nothing changes, therefore I need to move on.” In fact, it can become a karma-making situation to continue a relationship beyond a certain point, because of the bickering and disharmony that comes when one person must be right and the others need to submit.
So in the natural course of events what happens is that Kim, two years ago, meets a woman he instantly feels a deeper spiritual connection to. Yet for those two years he does nothing in terms of pursuing the relationship. He is aware of it and keeps his proper distance and Kim is not a “womanizer” who runs after women for the slightest reason which I can say, having known Kim for thirtythree years when he came to the Transcendental Meditation Center, my husband at that time and I had in the northern part of Denmark.
Have we not all experienced, at one time or another, meeting people with whom we feel a deep inner union that is far above and beyond any physical attraction? And have we not all valued this as a very special gift? And so this woman comes to the class, and not only is she physically beautiful, as Lorraine is it, but her spiritual qualities are also very beautiful, which Maitreya comments about in a dictation given by Lorraine during the woman´s Alpha Therapy session where he says; “You are beautiful!” And surely Maitreya is referring to her spiritual qualities first and foremost.
So at the end of the class Kim confides in Lorraine how he feels about the woman and she is not emotionally prepared for this test, which is very very understandable. But because of her black and white mindset, within twentyfour hours she had decided for a divorce. For Lorraine is quick and has told us so, which can be a good quality, but it can also be the opposite, depending on how it is used. However, what I sense is the extreme mindset that says; “if I can`t have all of you, then I want nothing of you.” For the black and white mindset is but another word for the all or nothing consciousness.
Kim informs the community about the end of the marriage in a rather neutral way where he does not blame Lorraine, and neither does he defend himself. And this makes Lorraine realize, that Kim truly has moved on and that she has “lost” him. So what does she do?
Though she is not emotionally balanced in this hot-heated personal issue to give an objective dictation, her next move is to immediately come out with a message from Padma Sambhava stating, that Kim is out of alignment and has lost his sponsorship as a messenger, as well as revealing other unfavourable things about him and elevating herself.
THIS, I feel, was a very sly trick on her behalf, and I believe she never loved Kim, only herself or the image she wanted Kim to fit into, and when he did not, she then turned against him. In fact she did the very same thing, that Marian did to Leita when she deflected the attention away from herself and on to Leita at the Wintergreen conference, and for which she was severely disciplined by being excluded from the community, because she brought division into it. Only this offense is much much more severe and with a far greater consequence, because Lorraine misused her messengership as a way to blacken Kim and whiten herself, and it was done in the Masters name to further her personal cause, whereby she shocked the flock who believe in the Master behind her.
So the people were now divided between Kim and Lorraine and in “reality” there was now only one messenger left, namely Lorraine! I see this as manipulation and revenge, the black and white mindset that either loves you or hates you and that is an illusion, for the truth is that real love never, never, NEVER wants to hurt the one you love. And when we divinely love someone we want to put the happiness of the one we love ABOVE our own, and had Lorraine chosen that route the whole test would have become a manifestation of Christhood instead of a manifestation of the ego, that she claimed she did not have in front of everybody at the Wintergreen conference only seven months ago!
The “dictation” was then followed by another letter that was teaming with lop-sided statements with the purpose of degrading others and elevating oneself, talking about other peoples serpents and overlooking ones own.
Lorraine was now the ONLY messenger as Kim was out of the way. She was the queen messenger with the highest authority that could not be opposed. For the opposition in the form of Melissa and Kim had disappeared, and the rest of us were under her, wherefore she writes on the Shangrala page of a new and better beginning. Schucks! I will have none of it!
I am NOT hereby trying to paint Kim white and Lorraine black as I am well aware of the possibility, that Kim could have handled this situation in a better and more gradual way, so everything did not come as a shock to Lorraine and the rest of us.
At the dinner table one day I was talking to Lorraine about, what determined whether a person got disciplined or not and she answered ,that they had to “cross the non-acceptable line.”
It is my innermost conviction that Kim, in spite of his ego and imperfections, did not cross the non-acceptable line, but that Lorraine did. She crossed the non-acceptable line for which her students had been severely disciplined! And therefore she needs to be co-disciplined along with her sisters on the path, for she is no different than us. And how did she cross it? She crossed it when she fell for the temptation to degrade a loved one and elevate herself, and to do it the Masters names, which was a misuse of power to serve her own ends. And thereby she put a lot of conflict into the community, dividing it up.
But who is there to discipline a sister who happens to be a messenger, who therefore is at the top of the cake with no one beneath her, when that sister is blind to her own folly and the division she has created in the community? Who is there to administer this loving grace to her so she can begin to see and therefore move forward in this test and in her spiritual attainment?
I believe it is a great blessing to be a messenger, but equally a great danger, if you identify with it and begin to see yourself as THE messenger with the ultimate authority to the point, where you will not take input from those “below” you, instead of recognizing that there is only ONE Messenger, who is the Teacher within the Heart, whom we are all students of and who can speak through anyone, even an ant if he so chooses, as Master More says it. To fall for this temptation and misuse of power is a very serious offense and definitely crossing the non-acceptable line, for which a discipline must be administered in order to prevent her from making more karma. It is LOVE to do so, even if it is tough love. But again, who is there to discipline a messenger?
I do not think Lorraine was in the proper state of objectivity to be able to give a dictation on such a personal issue related to her own marriage and mission. I believe she misused her power by adding the Masters name for authority to her personal agenda in an attempt to hurt Kim. I believe that she is responsible to a large extent for dividing up the community, and I also believe that when a sponsored messenger falls for this temptation the sponsorship is withdrawn, so that when she claimed that the Masters were no longer sponsoring Kim, in reality she was projecting on to him what was happening to herself at that very moment!
Up to this point and for the past seven years I believe Lorraine Michaels was a true Messenger of the Great White Brotherhood, but with this “dictation” I believe she lost it and that she will be making karma if she continues on this route in blindness. That is why I feel she needs to be disciplined, but there is no one to extend that grace to her for her own good.
The messengers are first and foremost people like the rest of us, and they are not perfect, neither do they need to be. They only need to be willing to learn and grow from every experience, so let`s not put them in the “messenger-box”, and as Kim wrote in one of his responses namely, that so few people know him. They might think they know the messenger Kim, but do they know Kim – the co-chela Kim or the co-chela Lorraine? It is not good for them and it is not good for us, for it divides us, and how can there be division in oneness? It is therefore time to throw the messenger box away, whether a person gives official messages or not.
I think the criterion for being a messenger is a pure heart and a willingness to learn from every situation. It is not perfection. So I am not trying to say that Kim did everything right or that he chose the highest possible response in the situation, and neither am I pointing a finger at Lorraine for any human reactions to such a big test that she was not emotionally prepared for. I believe that a person is not going to loose his or her sponsorship as a messenger, because they fail a test or rather because they are unable to respond in a higher way at first, for it may time and much inner contemplation to reach that higher response. The Masters are practical beings who are realistic, and they know within what range we have the possibility of responding when a sudden test come upon us, taking into consideration our state of consciousness as well as inner preparation for it. That is fine and we can work ourselves up to a higher response, when we come to understand that we have others ways of seeing things, and that what may at first seem like a “disaster” in reality is a tremendous gift and a blessing, that can take us a huge step forward individually and as a whole - if only we think outside the box and view the situation in a completely new light.
It is one thing for a man to be a superficial “woman hunter”, which is not the case with Kim, and it is a completely different thing to fall in love with a woman who is a worthy spiritual companion who has qualities he is looking for in terms of femininity. Not femininity merely in the outer sense, but the soft qualities that will YIELD to a higher understanding of truth rather than a bossy, domineering self-righteousness. And that two people have fallen in love in that special way – almost in spite of themselves – no matter what traditional thinking says - can never be a sin, on the contrary it is a blessing.
There are many possible ways the situation could have turned out positively, but ONLY if we are willing to think outside the box, which is what we are supposed to do as chelas on the spiritual path, in order to grow and reach the state of higher morality than the one we were brought up to believe in, that often is immorality disguised behind a fake appearance.
The woman of Kim`s heart is a person of high spiritual maturity, which we learned in her Alpha session, where it became clear to us, that she has the attainment to teach in the School of Being. So for a thought experiment, because I think it is healthy and educating to put ourselves in another person´s shoes, I will attempt to describe how I would have worked at responding, if I had been Lorraine and it had happened to me.
First I would allow and accept their love, for it is a reality, then work myself up to share it and be happy about it. If I had to give up my wife status I would do so, and I would work myself up to be happy about that too, knowing that I have in no way “lost” my husband in an inner sense, just the contrary. For what IS a true marriage anyway, but a deep friendship between two people who can help each other grow? And so I would know that putting the happiness of my husband as well as the other woman above my own, in reality would only increase their love for me. And they would most certainly be puzzled by this “outside the box” approach and begin to see me in a new light. So rather than loosing the love of my friend, it would but be increased manifold, and no matter what happened in the outer I would win in the inner, which is what life is about. I would win over the jealousy and ownership of the separate self, and I would win a greater love and appreciation of the person I love.
Is this oneness in spirit not much more important than whether we are an outer wife or not? Yes, it is!
I would also make friends with the woman and see her as a blessing in my life. I would invite her to live on the property either in a separate house or the main building, if that is what they wanted. And I would have a first hand opportunity to study the woman and see her as my teacher, as to what qualities she has that attracted my friend to her, that I might not have. And then I would try to develop those qualities in myself, so I would become more balanced.
I would try to look at the many benefits this would have in my life, also in terms of the physical work-load on my shoulders that would be lessened, giving me more time to do other things. The woman can co-teach in the school and she is an enthusiastic gardener, weed-puller who is also capable with the horses as well as daily chores. Furthermore she has a little girl who is a thrill, that I could share too. So all in all, as I tried to look at the whole picture, I would soon come to realize that I had gained on all sides and that the few things, I needed to give up, really were not that important.
I know this can be done from experience, as I played Lorraines role in a personal drama that happened many years ago. And it wasn`t all smooth sailing at first where I struggled with feelings of inferiority and ownership, but when I surrendered I learned so much and, right or not right from an outer point of view, the result was a very growing experience which I look back upon with gratitude. And I felt I gave up the one dollar in order to gain a million in terms of the inner victories.
So back to the issue of discipline. I believe that the messengers failing a test, or I would rather put it, not being able to respond to a test immediately in the higher way, is but normal and therefore NOT a cause for withdrawing the mantle. Kim might have acted in better ways and so might Lorraine, and yet it did not compromise their messengership, as long as they are willing to work on bettering their responses. BUT - when Lorraine took the step of immediately putting out a “dictation” where Kim was degraded and she was elevated, backing her words up with “Master Authority”, it DID! It did it big time, because she misused her mantle and thereby she divided the community in order to purposely hurt a “loved one”, because of his choices. THIS move of hers was NOT right and therefore I feel, that it is SHE, and not Kim, who has lost the mantle, in spite of Kim`s possible imperfections in the matter! And this is serious business, because of the split that happened in the community who believe in the Masters who are above and beyond Lorraine as a person.
Again, it is a replay of the drama between Marian and Leita, only on a much bigger scale, as Marian did not have the back up of the Masters as Lorraine did! And that is why our dear sister Lorraine needs a discipline and it is loving kindness to give her one. Noone is exempt from a discipline and that goes for the messengers as well. And we are all in the same boat, messengers or not messengers, for we are all student of the ONE, inner messenger or teacher, who is the Only teacher there is, though he comes in many disguises. And discipline is NOT punishment, for punishment has no existence in God. It is an opportunity to see something in oneself, that one has refused to see for a long long time that has consequences for oneself and others, as well as the Masters progressive work on Earth in order to bring in a Golden Age.
In fact, the more “up” one climbs in status, the more “down” one needs to go in humility, though in reality there is neither up nor down for how can there be up or down in Oneness? But in the sense that of all people on Earth the messengers ought to be the ones who are the MOST willing to listen to the input from others and to do it in sincerity. They ought to be the ones who are the MOST willing to surrender the “I know it all” attitude or the “I have the highest truth” concept, that hampers growth and becomes a closed system that no one can penetrate. I believe that this is what happened to Lorraine and THE main reason why Kim could no longer stay in the relationship. The other woman simply accelerated a process that would have happened anyway, unless an inner significant change had taken place.
I believe the messengership brought Kim and Lorraine a huge step forward on the spiritual path, but also that that which has the potential to do so, can become the greatest trap if one is not aware and alert to the dangers inherent in it. And this pains me, because I love Lorraine and want to see her grow by being teachable, which is the very first principle in the Christhood course. It is NOT enough to listen within or up, we must also be willing to listen to the Christ in one another who is God`s mouthpieces on Earth helping us see, what we cannot see in ourselves.
When I look back on some of the most difficult tests I have encountered, the people around me and some that had turned into my greatest “enemies” would often say things about me, that I would dismiss as “nonsense”. But in reality, in retrospect, I have realized that what they said about me was true and that I had blind spots in relation to seeing it. And this is awakening me to the realization, that what people tell me about myself, I`d better listen to. And it must be an awesome responsibility to be a messenger and an opportunity to do good, but when one misuses this responsibility it likewise has tremendous consequences.
What I felt in the relationship between Kim and Lorraine is, that Kim wanted Lorraine to be more feminine and Lorraine wanted Kim to be more masculine. But the way to do this is not by nagging, blaming or talking to each other about it in excess. In fact one can “talk things to death” which is very stifling to the warmth in a relationship.
Rather, if a woman wants her partner to be more masculine, the higher way is for her to be sure that she herself is feminine, for masculinity responds to femininity – not merely to talk on the mental level – and visa versa if a man wants her partner to be more feminine. The feminine qualities have to do with being soft, trusting and yielding to a higher truth, whereas the masculine qualities are more stern and direct. We need them both whether we are in a masculine body or a feminine one, yet still, whatever body we are in, we are in it for a reason and therefore need to develop that side in us, but the other side must also be there to come forth when the situation demands it, as we need to strive for wholeness within ourselves. Therefore is the higher way to BE the quality oneself and thereby awaken the corresponding polar quality in another from within, rather than to push it from without.
True we have to be our God-flames, but we can not limit ourselves to the Alpha-Omega aspect of our flames. We need to be ALL of the God-flames to some extent, wherefore there is no excuse for overlooking a pink quality if one is predominantly on the blue ray, or a blue quality if one is predominantly on the pink ray.
Again, it is not the failure of a test that matters, only what we choose to do from there. Likewise, it is time to drop the Messenger box and let the messengers be people like ourselves, realizing that we are all One.
So, let`s learn from each other and realize, that the Teacher can appear in anyone and often comes in the little child, who dares to shout to the mass consciousness, that the “emperor has nothing on.”
I want to be that little child, because I see that what is happening is very, very GOOD and a mighty step forward, if only we choose to be teachable and learn from it.
In Joyful Oneness – which is my God Flame - but I am More than that, I bless you all.
Joy
|
August 7, 2009
Joy Josephs to Lorraine Michaels
Dear Lorraine.
I want to share my point of view for you to contemplate, for there is something that is not right in this picture. There is a need to think outside the box, and anyone who is expected to do so is most certainly the messengers, who talk so much about this, but really, of course, it goes for all of us.
That you were not prepared for this severe test, that came so unexpected, is understandable, few would have been, and I think we all feel great compassion for your pain. But I do hope that you – in time - will come to see the whole test in a different light by re-educating yourself, so you can grow from the experience.
Again, that a man has fallen in love with another woman is not a sin – and it never was. It is a blessing, a gift and something to rejoice about no matter who we are, wife or not-wife. For how can it be a sin to love someone deeply, when we think about it outside the human box. It can not!
True, a married man needs to keep to his wife and not allow another woman to interfere with the circle of Oneness between them, and I am not saying that Kim did everything right, nor that he could not have acted in a more gentle way, where you would have had time to process things gradually. However, he is not perfect either and things just happened as they did.
So here is what I think – and I have not talked to Kim about it, only read the few e-mails he sent to all - but I was part of the School of Being class and furthermore have known Kim since he was eighteen.
First I want to ask you again, Lorraine, to please go within your heart and ask yourself, if you ever felt “threathened” by me in any way in relation to Kim, as I have picked up vaguely. And if so – as I told you in a previous letter- this was in your own mind, for there never was any man-woman feelings between Kim and I, neither from his side nor from mine. The reason I mention this again is that if this is so, and I tell you it is not, then you can also reason that you might be wrong in other situations?
Rather, I think that deep inside you were afraid for many years of loosing Kim and also, as Kim mentioned, that you are a person with a somewhat black and white mindset. So when your fear manifested in real life, you went from white to black in the sense that you either want all or nothing. You realized that you had lost Kim, that he was deeply in love with someone else, that he was moving on, and within a day you had decided for a divorce. Pretty quick action!
So now you turned against Kim and after he had announced to the community the end of your marriage, in a neutral and kind way and not pointing fingers at you, you responded with a “dictation” from a Master where you painted yourself white and Kim black in saying, that he had lost his sponsorship as a messenger, as well as mentioning other unfavorable things about him, and elevating yourself. And certainly Kim is not perfect and might indeed have acted in a better way, but this move of yours, Lorraine, really was very unkind and a manifestation of the ego.
I therefore want to ask you if – in reality – you were not doing the very same thing that someone did at the Wintergreen conference and for which she got severely disciplined – namely expelled from the community? Did you not deflect the attention away from yourself and your own part and on to Kim? Yes you did! It was exactly what you did!
Remember at the dinner table when we talked about these things and I asked you why certain people were disciplined? You responded by saying that they had crossed the unacceptable line, and I therefore say with the full fervor of my heart that I feel, Lorraine, that you have crossed the unacceptable line and that as a result thereof you need to be disciplined, just like the rest of us. I will explain to you why?
Bur first let me ask you this; “Who can discipline a messenger when she is at the top with no one beneath her?” And also, please contemplate deeply if you had the mindset to objectively give a dictation on such a hot-heated personal issue, where you were out of balance? Also think about how quick you were to lash out in an attempt to hurt the one you “love” and elevate yourself, or maybe you never loved him, because he has fallen in love with a woman he feels at one with in spirit – which in reality is something to rejoice about, because it is a high and holy feeling.
You have known Kim for twenty years and I have known him for thirtythree years and we both know, that Kim is not a person who is just after physical beauty or pleasure and that this is something that is far beyond it. And may I remind you of the dictation Maitreya gave through you in Helens Alpha-session where he said; “Helen, you are beautiful!” And certainly Lord Maitreya was referring to her spiritual qualities first and foremost, which are the ones I feel Kim is attracted to above and beyond her physical beauty. You have many of these spiritual qualities as well, and outer beauty, but some of them you don´t have, especially the gentle feminine qualities that awakens masculinity in a man. Kim`s first wife did not have them either, and so is it any wonder that Kim is attracted to them partly as a way to awaken and express more masculinity in himself? I think it is wholly natural.
You tried to degrade Helen in your comment when you said, that she had merely come to the class just because she wanted Kim. This is not my perception at all and I rather sense, that up to the very last minute she was not consciously aware of the events, but then things happened quickly thereafter.....
THIS, Lorraine, was a divine response and again, I am not blaming you for anything except that when you published that dictation to the whole community, you crossed the acceptable line, as Marian and Leita had done it. And therefore you need to be disciplined along with your co-sisters, and as it was healthy and supreme love to them to do them this favor, so it is to you, so that you will never again, never elevate yourself and degrade another in the Masters name in order to give your message “authority” , thereby dividing the whole community. THIS is a very serious offense.
I am not in a position to discipline another, but I can tell you that it is my innermost conviction that a person needs not be perfect to be a genuine messenger of the true Masters and that such a person can be sponsored for a cycle. But if the person refuses to move forward in her own personal initiations, then I believe the sponsorship will be withdrawn, and she will turn into a false messenger who is communing with the false masters.
Up to the point where you gave this public dictation I believe, that you were a genuine messenger who was sponsored by the true Masters. But with this dictation sent out to the whole community, to divide the people in favor of yourself and against Kim, you crossed the acceptable line and therefore I believe, that the socalled “loss of Kim´s sponsorship”, in fact was a loss of your own and that you were merely projecting it on to someone else. Again, not a very kind thing to do.....
So what truly is a marriage, but a deep trust and friendship between two people? And therefore, when a friend confides in us that he loves a woman, the divine reaction is to be happy on his behalf and her? Kim is not a “womanizer”, as both of us know, just the opposite. And yet you mentioned in your letter that Loren had said, that he was always chatting with the women! True, but who else were there to talk to? Loren does not want to talk and Joe neither, and the rest of us were women. So this was another lop-sided statement and not Maitreyas kindness. Again, I am not defending Kim by saying that he did everything right. I don`t believe he did and it is not a question of perfection. Perfectionism is a curse, as Serapis Bey mentioned it, and none of us are perfect in the outer. It is about being willing to see one`s own stuff, surrender it and move forward.
This situation could – o so easily – have been turned into a tremendous blessing – if only you had not reacted from your ego – the very ego that you claimed you did not have in front of the whole community. But how can you in all honesty say, that you have no ego, when you are willing to hurt a loved one, your own husband, in an attempt to elevate yourself? Is this not the very definition of an ego? But I do not love you less because of it. I also have an ego and most of us do, so it is not about blaming, but seeing and progressing.
I am only saying that with a little self-sacrifice on your behalf, the whole situation could have turned into an enormous blessing and an example to the world of Christhood. By welcoming Helen – warmly - into your life, and by sharing their joy and love, giving up you title as wife if necessary, you would have put their happiness above your own and through it you would have gained everything – everything - and first and foremost a tremendous growth in your own being!
By taking part in the wonder of love that was unfolding in front of you – even though it did not come through you – I can guarantee you that your husbands love for you would have increased enormously, for nothing increases love MORE, as when we are willing to unselfishly share it with others. He would have begun to see you in a new light, and you would also have gained a true friend in Helen as well as the joy of Helena Maria. The heavy work load upon your shoulders, that you shared with us in your letters, would have been considerably lessened, as Helen is capable of co-teaching in the School, and she is also an excellent, enthusiastic gardener, weed-remover as well as capable with the horses and daily chores. And really – the ONLY thing you would have had to give up is the physical relationship – and after all, how important is this when you have recently lived in celibacy for five years???
You had everything to gain for yourself and the community and the opportunity to take a huge step forward spiritually, had you just thought about things a bit more deeply outside the human box and its traditional ways of thinking, that will always try to convince us, that we have “lost” someone and that what has happened was bad, when in reality it was not. NOT AT ALL! And you had the opportunity of meeting, first hand, a teacher in Helen in terms of the femininity your husband could not see in you, but that he found elsewhere, so you could learn from it.
But instead you acted so fast that within a day you wanted a divorce. And this quickness of yours can be an excellent quality under the right circumstances, but it can also be the very opposite! And I feel that Kim was right when he mentioned, that in reality you never loved him, for if you did, Lorraine, you would not want to hurt him. But your black and white mindset made you reason, that if you could not get all of Kim, then you wanted nothing, and this led to the dictation where you took it out on Kim in the Masters name to hurt him, divide the community and elevate yourself.
UP to that point you could have rather easily remedied the situation with a bit of self-sacrifice on your behalf, but when you crossed that unacceptable line, you made it much much harder for yourself and you drove your husband and his friend away - big time. For it is unacceptable to MISUSE your messengership in this way, having a personal agenda, and use the masters names for “authorithy”, thus dividing the community against your husband, who has faithfully served, in spite of his imperfections, and to say that he lost his sponsorship when in truth, I believe that you are talking about yourself. THIS I consider a very serious offense that shows, that you have some personal house-cleaning to do. It is serious, and much more serious that what Marian did, because as a messenger your words have far-reaching effect on the many who trust the Masters behind you. Please contemplate that and wake up, before you make more karma!
So if I was to discipline you, I would ask you to resign as a messenger, leave the property, as others were asked to, and sign it over to Kim, then work on seeing that aspect of your ego and the temptation you fell for, as well as accept the help of others, so you would never want to do this again. And after this internal cleansing – then please come back in greater humility where you listen to others.
For you were not genuine when you said in your letter, that you at one point adapted to Kim`s truth. You were merely putting on a façade and still believing that your truth was the highest truth.
Remember how Monique was asked by Master More to accept her students as her teachers and the same is true here. Personally I feel that it is time to surrender the messengership roles and realize, that we are all teachers and students of each other. We are all in the same boat and no one is better than anyone else. We all have stuff to work on and God will bring us together, so we can help each other. As I told you, I have much to work on myself, but the very stuff I am trying to tell you, I HAVE worked on in a similar situation I went through many years ago, and I had a tremendous victory on it in terms of personal growth because of it.
I believe that your messengership and Kim`s messengership brought you forward a huge step on the path but also, that at this point, it has become THE greatest trap and why? Because people put you in the “messenger box” and you might feel you have to “fit” into it. And that is stifling, for you are first and foremost people, like the rest of us. And as Kim said namely; that so few people know him. They know the messenger Kim, but do they know Kim? It is not good for you and it is not good for us, for it separates us. And you are chelas on the path just like the rest of us. And worse, you might come to feel that because you are a messenger, you have the ultimate wisdom and therefore you become unreachable for the input from others, which is a violation of the very first principle in the Christhood course that says; “BE TEACHABLE!” In fact the messengership has then become THE ultimate trap!
In Summit Lighthouse the messenger was far away – standing on a podium in an elegant sari surrounded by flowers. In Shangra-la the messengers came a lot closer, but there still was a distance. So now is the time to surrender it altogether and accept that we are One, and that we are all students of the One Great Initiator within, whether we give official messages or not. And if we do, it does not make us better, higher or more elevated than the rest. In fact – just the OPPOSITE ought to be true, namely that the messengers need to be the ones who MOST willingly listens to the input from others, wherefore I also feel it was unkind of you to mention Kim`s “European pride”, because he had been willing to give his input to the former messenger about things in the community he would like to see changed.
The messengers need to be the MOST humble of all, the ones who are MOST willing to take advice from others and the FIRST ones to admit that they don´t know it all, and especially regarding things about themselves that it is the very hardest to see! And therefore, be true to the advice of Master More who said to “heed the guru if he be an ant.”
So who can discipline the messengers?
A discipline is a grace, because it is an opportunity to see something about yourself, it is an opportunity to learn and we ALL need to have that opportunity, INCLUDING the messengers.
I love you, Lorraine, believe me, I do. But I feel strongly that you are out of alignment and that you need a discipline, a time out, which is really a time IN, so that you can come into alignment and grow, so you can come down from the pedestal that is SUCH a block in your life, because it makes you unreachable for the input from others. Your students are your teachers. Remember that.
Love Joy |
August 7, 2009
Joy Josephs to Lorraine Michaels
Dear Lorraine
I hope you got my letter of yesterday as the spirit is moving upon me to share more things with you and give certain suggestions.
Again, you are a lovely person with a strong desire for truth. This is an excellent and neccesary quality, but unless it is balanced it can turn into self-righteousness and stubbornness that turns people off! Therefore unless you break through with certain insights on yourself and are willing to listen, Kim and Melissa will move on without you, and you will indeed have lost them both - for good. And Shangra-la will simply be another Summit Lighthouse where you will be the queen-messenger with the ultimate authority, for you will not listen to anyone under you, which is everyone, wherefore any further growth comes to a halt.
True, you might expand on the horizontal level and gain more followers, as Jesus could have done so, had he chosen to forgo the crucifixion and thereby the resurrection into a new level, but you and your group will be on the same step without going to the next.
Dearest sister, let me put it plainly,namely that you have, in my discernment, made some big "bummers" in your recent e-mails that I feel have been much colored by your personal situation, so much that I could hardly finish reading the last one. And furthermore is it dangerous to put the Masters names on them in order to give them credability. So what I see is, that it is your very messengership that has become your greatest block at this point, because it puts you apart from others by closing you in, whereas the truth is that you are one of us, neither more, neither less, just a co-chela on the path and that is good enough.
I understand that this is a very challenging test for you and believe me, I am not without understanding or compassion. But I also know that with the test always comes the solution, and that you are ready for it, if only you are willing to listen and to receive by accepting the insights from others who can see where your blindness is, as you yourself has helped many others in exactly this way.
Your personal colored letters have only increased the distance between your loved ones and yourself quite a bit, rather than the opposite, namely brought union and greater closeness between you, which is what the test is about - ultimately. And this has happened because your self-righteous, unyielding opinions have stood in the way so that noone - not even your husband - could penetrate the shell.
No, I am not pointing fingers at you as I have gone through the very same situation myself, as I explained in my last letter, and this very recently. But to say to others that you have no ego cannot be true. I am not hereby idolizing Kim for I believe he has an ego too, and me, and most other people on this planet.
However, all is not lost and things can be changed for the better - and quickly - depending on your ability to listen, to change, to grow and your willingness to take the next step - as Kim is doing it - in spite of his imperfections. And this is how I see it.
That he has fallen in love, deeply, with another woman, is a fact, so your former relation as husband and wife is - realistically - a finished chapter, but not your relationship in other profound ways. Personally I believe that Kim, for the first time in this life, has found a woman that he truly resonates with and I am happy for him and her. The question is; "Can you be happy for him and her too? Can you express that happiness in sincerity? Are you willing to put their happiness above your own and thereby pass the test of true love?" For THIS, Lorraine, is the next step, the example to the world and for the Age of Oneness - in practical life -for if it isn´t practical, it isn´t real, right?"
Had you listened to Kim, Melissa and others for the truth in their statements, for truly when you think about it deeply, when others keep saying things repeatedly over a long period of time, it is because they are SEEING something, right? If you had listened you would long ago have worked on you gentle, feminine qualities and you would have surrendered the self-righteous attitudes, and therefore the break might never have happened. But because you did not listen, there came a point where the break-up became almost inevitable in order to hopefully shake you up! And this is love.
This was also the case with me where nature had to wake me up so hard, that my house came tumbling down within a very short time in an attempt to get me to see something, as I have had the very same tendency of having unyielding opinions of self-righteousness to the point of being deaf to other people´s point of view, because I was right and knew better than they did.
So if you are willing to come up higher, through a fundamental shift in consciousness that is genuine, things can be turned around and quickly, and you have not lost neither Kim or Melissa, on the contrary, you have finally broken through and have come closer to them than ever, though there will be changes in the outer roles, but that is really not so important. Therefore, when I put myself in your situation, this is what I would do in order to pass this test.
I would begin with openly acknowledging my rigidity, domination and unyielding opinion and apologize for how it has affected other people, then surrender them. And how wonderful an example this would be to show to others, for this is what the path is all about.
Then I would surrender my old messengership as the greatest block, because I would see how it had made me unreachable for input from the outside.
I would surrender the continuous muscle-testing of everything - and I totally agree with Kim - that it would be a great nuisance to me, if my husband was always muscle-testing in the midst of our private conversations.
I would accept that we are all messengers and students of each other, wherefore I would pull myself down from the queen status and accept help from others realizing, that I am a chela amongst chelas and a messenger amongst messengers.
I would also begin to work on developing my femininity, the tender gentle qualities of the soft heart, that is not weak, but strong - a well orderly, organized home, healthy meals and a feminine appearance and most specially the inner quality of softness, openmindedness and kindness.
You are a lovely person with a very pure heart and there is no question about that. But you have strong and unyielding opinions that you are absolutely convinced about and that, more than anything else, I believe, drove Kim away, because he felt he had had enough of trying to knock for years on a door that simply would not open. A feminine woman does not have unyielding opinions. She is open to advice from other people and this makes her attractive.
A masculine woman, however, drives men away, because she is too bossy and self-righteous in her ways and it is impossible for others to talk to her. On your bookshelf in the basement, near the bathroom, you have a book called "Fascinating Womanhood" by an author named HELEN Andelin. It is an old-fashioned book that is outdated in many ways, but I believe that the woman who wrote it was divinely inspired by Mother Mary in her message for that time - and there is still valuable information to receive from it in regards to feminitiy and how to develop it. And if you study this you will see, why Kim`s Helen is a feminine woman and yet, she is also strong, or she has the possibility of developing true strength.
I believe that the women Masters, though I have never seen them except in paintings, are very feminine, though they also have the Kali aspect inside that they use, when the occasion demands it.
On the outer I would immediately welcome Kim and Helen back into my life and make adjustments accordingly, seeing them as my dearest friends and respecting their relationship. The property is big, they can easily put up a trailer there for their home, and in this way you and Kim can still work together as closest friends, even much MORE close than you were before. And the only difference is, when you think about it more deeply, that you have lost your sexual relationship, but how important is that? After all, you lived in celebacy for many years and were fine with it. In this way you and Kim could continue with the mission - and in a much deeper way, because you are now willing to listen, and he will therefore love you more than he did before. Can you not see that you have everything to gain by rising up to this higher role? Furthermore you would have the wonderful addition as Helen as a co-teacher in the School of Being. It is simply gain, gain, gain. So what do you have to loose? Only your human jealousy and feelings of ownership and these have no place on the next step anyway. And what do you have to gain? Everything. The increased love and devotion of Kim as your brother and friend, who can much better be around you, because you are open and feminine instead of bossing your way with unyielding opinions that you consider the highest truth. You also have the wonderful gift of little Helena Maria and possible other children that you can be a grandma to - in love and harmony - to show the world that this is indeed possible.
THIS, I feel, is rising up to the next step and showing people a higher way of love. So it will take a shift in your consciousness, but it can be done. I know it for I did it, and it taught me so much.
Marian passed her test and others who were severely tested, and this is your test to pass and when you do, the whole community will be lifted up. And if you decide not to, Kim, Helen, me and many others will simply move on without you.
I sincerely hope you will pass this test to the glory of all rather than choosing to continue in your present stubbornness that holds you back. I love you dearly and will always be willing to share my experiences with you as I am in so many ways like you - and also know what it is like to live with a man who loves another woman deeply. Just remember that this does not mean that he does not love you as well - and more - for when you pass your tests, you can only win!
Love Joy |